Thoughts and such like.....
It's funny writing these blog posts, I can see the statistics and know there are people reading, or at least looking, at the blog, but I'm not sure how many of you enjoy it. It's a very strange relationship - sort of having a diary that everyone reads but no one talks about! Do leave a comment or note on your thoughts of my posts, or even like me on Facebook, which will allow me to access all sorts of information. Thank you!
Today is the last few days of April and I'm trying not to look at any of my electronic devices when I get up in the morning. A challenge I've broken because my meditations are on my computer. So I've compromised and only grab the computer for meditation purposes - I've set it up so that I go straight to the icon, and let me say - it's tough. The computer is there, maybe I can just check up on Facebook and see what's happening with family and friends or maybe I should just check my phone to ensure my kids are okay!! The excuses are great however I'm not succumbing and have now also decided that about an hour before bed, I'm turning them off. This is to try and allow me to have a better sleep which has for most nights worked!
I'm really pleased with this challenge and it has made me much more aware of what was happening to my sleep patterns, having a computer/iPad, a cell phone and any other electronic item on or beside the bed. Now except for the iPad they are all out of the room. I use it as both an alarm and as access to my meditations. Again I'm going to keep this challenge going - it's healthy for me. How do you manage your devices? Have you thought about what you have in your bedroom at night, having never been one for a TV in my room, it is not a problem for me, but slowly the other items crept into my room without me even being aware - could you change this one habit? Try it, and let me know how you do!
I'm off to Eastern Canada to Ottawa, (a city I don't know at all), this week, for the last few days of my challenge, and still thinking about what May's should be. I'm continuing with my Yoga and Pilates, however I would like to incorporate some outdoor time into my routine now that Spring is here and the days are longer and brighter. So I think I'll add at least 5 days of outdoor walking/biking a week during May! This does allow for a couple of lazy days, but because writing here makes me accountable I'm much more likely to keep the resolution. Too after Ottawa, I'm off to BOSTON - a city I do like and which is so great to walk around. I'm going to my eldest's son's graduation!!!! So proud of my young man - it will be awesome, a friend is coming with me to celebrate, always fun to have a pal, we'll enjoy lots of exploring, good food and great music! So expect a few posts during the next few weeks of our Excellent Adventures!
You remember the saying March and coming in like a lion - yesterday March 1st, here in Southern British Columbia we had another snow storm. Such a coward, I am, that the very thought of snow turns me to a blithering idiot. However it was also the day that I finished my chocolate reset button. So breakfast started with chocolate, which I had purchased the day before. Chocolate that had been in my fridge and was taunting me that last night! Actually it was the most difficult night, having a bag of chocolates in the fridge and being unable to eat them. I didn't eat them all that morning - it took me a few days and actually my reset plan worked I couldn't eat them all at once - even the couple of breakfast chocolates felt too much!
And so, now it is March, roaring like a lion. I'm not giving up anything this month - I'm adding. I've decided to add something to my day and so I'm adding either six sun salutations each day or doing my Pilates practice, some days I've done both. I'm also taking a page from the weather and adding the lion pose each day - if you don't know the lion pose in yoga, it's a great one to for our faces
"in this posture is thought to be one of the best face exercises you can get. People often overlook another benefit of Lion Pose: it stimulates the platysma, which is a thin, rectangular-shaped muscle in the front of throat. This exercise will keep the platysma strong as you age." (http://www.cnyhealingarts.com/2011/03/13/the-health-benefits-of-simhasana-lion-pose)
It actually looks a bit like this fella on the right, tongue out and all!
So how is the reset going, both on the wine and chocolate it's been great, each reinstatement of the two things I enjoy has been easy and exactly as I'd hoped. What have I learnt, as everyone tells us, making out goals realistic and attainable. I think if I had said I was giving up one or the other item for the year, I'd have failed miserably. As it is I've achieved my goals and reset the button for both that is I'm not overloading anymore. Now by adding yoga and pilates into my daily routine I'm getting into the habit of exercise, doing something that I like, even when I'm at home which given some of my longer days is great. Too, it helps me in the rehabilitation of my knee which needs movement each day to avoid getting stiff. One of the great things about doing either of these activities is that not only do they help me build strength, in both my core and upper body, but also I feel great after both and I'm sleeping better too!
So my challenge to you is to add something extra to your day, something that is attainable. As Spring comes it may be a walk each evening for a month, or even as simple as giving yourself the gift of sitting quietly, no TV, no noise, each day; try it and see what happens and let me know how it works for you. Remember it's only for one month!
So during the last few months, and particularly in recent weeks, I'm learning new things about myself. I've always thought that I was fairly easy going, moving along life's path riding the waves and with a few exceptions coming out the other side intact.
Over the years I have spent time learning more about me, doing some self examination and have a better understanding of who I am. I've become much more self aware. So it comes as some surprise to me now, when I find myself fretting. I'm about to have surgery, a knee replacement, not a small thing I know, however what I have learned so far about myself is that despite the easy going exterior I show to the world, I really like to control the environment I live in and how I show up! With this surgery I have to let go, I have no control around what is going to happen to me, other than say no, and believe me at this time it is not an option if I want to have a better quality of life as I age. I have done everything I have been told, shown up at the pre-rehab information session, worked on the exercises given and more, re-organized in my mind not only that session but also the whole pre-admit process in BC hospitals! Sent out a spreadsheet to friends to organize my life after surgery, reorganized my bedroom and home to accommodate me during that time of learning to walk again. Ensured that friends and family are contacted after surgery letting loved ones especially know that I'm out and fine. And yet.... I still fret!
And so it's a time of learning, I'm amazed at the generosity of friends, of others who have gone through this operation and are willing to share their learnings. I'm also interested to listen to others who rather than encourage and applaud the decision to move forward with this operation, are negative. Quite frankly if another person tells me it is going to hurt like hell I think I'll scream - those that do for the most part haven't had the operation themselves, but they know. They continue about how difficult recovery will be, and how I'll not be able to do certain things! I find myself curious, why are they so negative? What is driving them to make such comments? It has made me conscious that I should be more mindful of comments I make when speaking with someone who is facing a hard decision, or who has made one about moving forward - what assumptions am I making about their decision, is it my life I'm basing those assumptions on, or theirs? Why be so negative when someone has obviously thought things through?
It's just over a week before I go into hospital and I find myself working to still my mind of worries, fears about the what ifs? What if something goes wrong? What if I don't make it? Have I got my papers in order (of course not!). What if ? Minds are funny things, we can't control what passes through but we can control our reaction to them. So what if something goes wrong - I can't control that, but I have trust in my surgeon, I know that the team working on me are on my side, that they will do everything in their power to make sure nothing goes wrong, the admit process that I am so critical of is just one of the check points to ensure that I am ready and able to undergo this surgery - I need to accept this and not stress out about what I can't control, rather focus on what I can - ensuring I eat well and am as prepared as I can be both before and after surgery - I follow instructions rather than knowing better than the experts. Again it makes me think about how much energy we put into focusing on our fears, usually fears of the unknown. So now I'm focusing on 'So I'm out of surgery, all is well, how can I ensure my recovery is the best it can be?' What do I look like three months from now, six months? What am I doing? Walking with friends, hiking maybe in a year I'll be snow shoeing up that same mountain that was the location of the accident that was the start of this three year journey - life will be good, because I will make it so - I'll be back in the driving seat, in control!
ps. A friend sent this link to a TED talk about how our body language shapes who you are! Enjoy
I seem to be hearing and reading a lot about the benefits of taking time out to think, meditate or even not think, just ruminate! When was the last time you took 10 minutes to do absolutely nothing? Think about it - absolutely nothing. Try it. Let the thoughts go, never mind what's happened today, what you're going to do tomorrow, sit in the moment and enjoy the sensation. What happens?
We spend so much time rushing about, crossing off items from our to do list, getting things done, that we forget to take time to do nothing. What would it take for you to set aside five minutes each day to do nothing, not to think about anything in particular, just sit in the moment?
Sometimes clients argue that it's not time to meditate, but time to think, silence isn't important, they don't have time to sit and do nothing and so we try to come up with an agreement that meets their needs and also allows them to try taking time to do nothing. Often they come back amazed that they seem to have more time on their hands. Other times it doesn't work for them, so we look at their day. We always find something - some time.
What about when you exercise, sit watching tv (turn it off), what do you do? So many people try to multi-task, read, watch the news - how about just staying in the moment? Let your mind go, wander around, don't stop at each and every thought, just acknowledge them and move on. Clients who have tried this, talk of having more clarity, of finding answers to questions that they have been pondering or wrestling for weeks. What would it take for you to try?
Interestingly enough, contemplative practice is meeting Law! A study at Harvard Law School, The Harvard Negotiation Insight Initiative is looking at the connection between meditation and the art of conflict resolution. (http://www.harbus.org/2012/meditation-and-leadership). Business men are becoming more interested in the art of contemplation as a means to move forward. Go on, try it, take 10 minutes daily for five days, let go and let me know how you do!
Maeve O'Byrne's Blog