What to do?

I was invited to the Survivors dinner, Dragonboat Festival, the 11th, over $2 Million raised for diagnostic and operating equipment.  I sat at the front and watched as women young and old greeted each other.  Some came from down the road, others from flood ridden Calgary.  Each of these men and women have a story, each a survivor of Breast Cancer.  Some friends from last year weren't able to come, others will never return - they lost their fight.  I sat and marvelled at the courage and felt privileged that I for a few hours became part of their fight.  They laughed and teased each other, dressed to the nines for the dance competition later - the songs they chose ranging from Swan lake to Stronger inspired by this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaQdwTsVtCY).  And me, I was invited to say thank you and what I wanted to do was go away, hide and cry - why?  These are incredibly strong women and men, who have battled and are winning their individual fight, why am I so emotional?  Is it my ego, am I crying for myself and my fears? I acknowledge that some is  fear but what else pushes that button that brings tears? Is it guilt that I have, to date, avoided this disease on my dance card?  As I sat and watched these women and men, it occurred to me that I was avoiding the question?  I skipped around it, testing, but I don't want to answer, I'm letting my fear take over.  There is no big question today, no clever discussion - just a thought - when did you last look at the good in your life and give thanks and love to those around you?