Cha, Cha, Changes.....

Photo by Marcus Kauffman on Unsplash

This summer we've experienced some major fluctuations in our weather, from scorching hot days to freezing cold and somewhere in between, and although we might complain about the weather we've been lucky on our Island not to have experienced the extreme wildfires that much of our Province has seen this summer.  In fact wildfires seem to have been hitting many places in the World over the past few months, from Sweden to Greece, Australia to Russia not to mention the US and Indonesia.  It's interesting to note that until I looked up wildfires around the World I really hadn't realized what an impact they were having - climate change affects us all and yet some of us don't see how we contribute to the problem by ignoring it. 

It's a bit like when we're going through change, we tend not to see what's happening in other peoples world... or at least that's me..  I'm ridiculously bad at noticing things when I'm focused on something, I've vowed to be better, however my kids often laugh at how I missed something or someone's expression because I'm focused on whatever I'm doing, and I think I'm like that when change, whether expected or unexpected, happens.  I tend not to see what's going on around me, particularly if the change is either unexpected or unwelcome.   I become so focused on my world, so caught up in the 'unfairness' or sadness of what has occurred that somehow I'm oblivious to what is going on around me.  It's not intentional, rather it's how I've tried to deal with it, I rarely reach out to others as I have this ridiculous tendency of having to deal with things on my own, I guess a hangover from childhood when problems were there to be solved by me, not expected to be passed onto parents or those in charge.  Now, I've begun to learn that how I deal with change may not always be the best, and I'm working on changing this habit. 

Change is an unavoidable part of life, and although some changes are easier to manage than others, how we respond to change is up to us!   Research shows that how we deal with change can have significant impact on our emotional and physical health. Even good change can affect how we manage ourselves and our time, and we are more likely to move through change successfully if we acknowledge the challenges, explore our options and remain positive, giving ourselves time to adapt to our new reality.   In other words, how we deal with change whether in life or business is important.    More often when we talk of change we mean change that may affect us in a negative way, like the loss of a partner, divorce, or loss of a job, or a promotion that didn't happen, things that may not seem to be a big deal to others can affect us emotionally. Sometimes even retirement, which we may have looked at with excitement, when it becomes reality can have a negative emotional effect - we no longer have a place to go each day, the chats in the coffee room no longer include us.   

When change happens we can turn to other distractions, such as drinking or acting irresponsibly, avoiding meetings that discuss the change, or pretending it's not happening and continuing on as before - however this can make things much worse. Sometimes we may need to engage professional help, but family, good friends or colleagues may also be of support.   It's important to examine and manage our feelings as they arise as this can help us move forward, talking to others who have faced difficulties head-on and come out stronger can also help us reflect on new possibilities.  

Three things we can do to work through change:

1. Grieve: Good or bad, changes can be difficult to navigate.  Grieving about what might have been, allows us to work through some of the emotional baggage that can weigh us down, so talking to others; friends, family or professionals can be a great way just to get 'stuff' out there.
2. Self-care: Try and maintain a healthy routine.  I know when I was first separated I used to go running during the time my kids were in their activities, this allowed me to vent aloud, and although I got some weird looks as I cried and screamed through my run, it was a great way to cleanse and let go! 
3. Journalling: Another way it to keep a private journal of thoughts and feelings, it's inexpensive, an easy way to focus attention, work through emotions and clarify thoughts.  It can be done at any time of the day or night.  

In the Tiny Buddha, (tinybuddha.com/blog/13-ways-to-change-when-life-changes-around-you/) Loren Hills wrote that 'Just as the seasons change, so do we.  Some changes we can choose, others we do not.'   She went onto suggest that we start by being present to the changes that occur everyday around us, 'natural changes that take place in everyday life'.   Often we have no choice, change happens and we can continue to resist and be left behind or we can accept and move forward.   Often our resistance to change comes from fear - fear of the unknown.  Take time to figure out what your fears are, and try to work through them.   Changing how we react to change can enable us to learn and grow. 
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• Accept that working through change is a process,
  
• Be flexible and try to find the positive benefit in the changes that are happening. 
  
• Try writing down three things you are grateful for each day, Loren Hill says that this will help develop a 'more powerful attitude of anticipation'. 
  

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When moving through change don't be surprised if success doesn't come immediately, working through change requires consistent and persistent action, stay present and focus on what needs to be done immediately.

Remember you only have one life to live, you are in charge of how you live it, so live it to the fullest and and embrace the change that continues to occur throughout your journey.  Living the life that's left to you with gratitude, positivity, and happiness while fulfilling the dreams you have carried throughout your life!

A coach can help you navigate your way through change, if you would like help moving through change, contact me for a free discovery session. 

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Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash